Why Are We So Mad?

By Robert Lacy | April 8, 2025

A Christian Reflection on Offense, Insecurity, and the Witness We Leave Behind
I’ve been pondering lately on how quickly Christians get upset when someone criticizes our beliefs. It might be on social media, in an open forum, or just in some careless remark made at the office; we jump at the opportunity to defend, dispute, and yes — get offended.
But why
Is it actually because what they have spoken is offensive, or is it because it struck at some tender place in us that we have not entirely grappled with ourselves?
Let's be real for a moment. If someone tells you something about your beliefs and you already know in your heart it is not true. why get angry? Truth does not require an anger fit to validate it. If we are secure in what we believe, then we are not threatened by another's disbelief.
Being on the defensive can perhaps reveal more about our uncertainty rather than their uncertainty.
"If your belief system can't be questioned, it may not be belief — it may be fear masquerading as conviction."
I don’t say it in judgment of people. I say it because I have been there. I’ve found myself upset at someone making light of Christianity — not in defense of God (He doesn’t need it), but because what they were saying touched something in me that wasn’t settled. And in that moment, I had to take a step back and ask myself: Am I upset because they are wrong, or because I am not grounded at the moment?
Jesus Didn't Clap Back — So Why Are We
Jesus experienced ridicule, false accusation, and betrayal. He was interrogated by spiritual leaders, mocked by soldiers, and deserted by those closest to him. And yet — He did not lash out. He did not name-call. He did not retaliate.
He remained based on facts. He spoke authoritatively and clearly — but never with arrogance or disdain.
"A gentle response turns away wrath, but a harsh word provokes fury." – Proverbs 15:1
If we are serious about reflecting Jesus to the world, then we need to get out of the mindset that He needs us to do battle for Him using bitterness. There is great distinction between standing up for what is true and being combative. One repairs bridges.
We are called to be salt, not sparks
If we answer criticism or disagreement with insults, memes, sarcasm, or anger… we’re not directing someone toward Jesus. We may actually be driving them farther away.
The world is observing how we respond. And if our initial response is one of attack rather than listening, of correction rather than comprehension, of winning the battle rather than loving the human being — then we’ve missed the point.
"Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:20
Not people, but people. And even if they are people with whom we do not agree, our response should be that of the love and patience He has extended toward us.
So, what can we do then?
Keep your cool. Don’t make it personal.
Ask questions instead of making statements.
Be respectful in place of being sarcastic.
Be content with not having the final word
And above all else — pray for the individual, but not the conversation
You don’t have to respond to everything. There are things that are better answered in silence. Better answered in wisdom. Better answered in kindness. And all answered in prayer.
We are not here for winning arguments. We are here for representing Christ. Let us do it then–not in pride, but in peace; not in insecurity, but in quiet strength.
Make your confidence in Christ ring out above your defensiveness.